Hello and happy holidays! Here is the 9th edition of our (almost) annual gift guide. As usual, it’s actually not very helpful at all.
For the hungry gadget freak (we recommend this every year)
4-slot Egg & Muffin Toaster | I have owned one of these for years. Recommended!
“Make delicious egg-and-muffin sandwiches at home in about four minutes with this multi-function toaster. The appliance can toast up to four slices of bread, English muffins, bagels, or croissants, while it simultaneously steam-poaches eggs and warms pre-cooked meat. It can also hard- or soft-boil up to eight eggs at a time thanks to the included egg basket. In addition to heating up pre-cooked meat, the two included meat trays can be used to heat slices of tomato or pineapple to accompany toast or a breakfast sandwich—the options are endless.” Also available as a 2-slot. (4 slice: $101.50 / 2 slice: $53.50)
For the iPooper
Digital Pedestal Stand for iPad with Roll Holder | I am ashamed to link to this.
“The iPad and new tablet technology are revolutionizing how and where we view entertainment. CTA Digital’s Pedestal Stand for iPad provides a convenient way to comfortably enjoy apps, eBooks, videos and web browsing at home. The bendable gooseneck stand allows you to adjust to any viewing angle, orientation or position you may need and securely holds the iPad. Simply slide and snap the iPad into the padded stand. The elegant chrome pedestal also features an optional toilet paper roll holder and a solid heavyweight base that will stay in place. So add luxury and convenience to your décor with CTA Digital’s Pedestal Stand for iPad.” ($34.83)
For your frisky but frigid friend
Humping Reindeer onesie | The awesome tipsy elves at Tipsy Elves sent me one of these to test out, and it’s the best present so far! Soft, warm, humpy!
“Finally, after years of technological advances; the perfect garment. Jumpsuits are warm, functional and simple , just step in, zip up, pull the hood over your head and voila! This particular jumpsuit features a special brand of erotic reindeer games in white on a red background. The pockets, zipper and hood are also accented with white piping.” ($79.95)
For the juice freak
BELLA High Power Juice Extractor | Yum!
“Skip the soda and give your body the healthy boost it craves with the High Power Juicer. This juicer features a wide feed tube that takes fruits and veggies whole (or with minimal slicing). It has a powerful 1,000-watt motor to deliver fresh juice fast, even from hard vegetables like carrots and beets. A removable pulp container and micro mesh filter ensure every glass is full-flavored with a pleasant consistency. The BPA-free juicer is easy to clean, thanks to its detachable, dishwasher-safe parts. For added convenience, the High Power Juicer comes almost completely pre-assembled.” ($59.57)
For… anyone, for… anything!
GiftRocket Gift Cards | I like this idea.
“Cash with an ecard for any occasion. Suggest where to spend it. Like a gift card but more flexible. At GiftRocket, we keep the intention of gift cards, but remove the hassle and loss. Pick a business they’ll love, even if it doesn’t have gift cards. We’ll deliver a beautifully packaged card. When they redeem, they’ll collect money up-front before they go to the business, and use it to treat themselves.” ($TBD)
For those who growl
The GrowlTap | Invention of the year!
“The GrowlTap brings beer growlers into the 21st century, keeping beer fresh longer. The GrowlTap is a patent-pending design that ensures the beer in your growler remains fresh and carbonated. Don’t know what a growler is? Growlers are used to transport beer home from craft breweries. They are reusable and are more ecologically friendly than bottles or cans, even if you recycle.” ($45.00)
For your shitty friends
ShitSenders.com Delivery Service | Whether it’s real or not, they’ll get the message.
“The ultimate gag gift. Sweet revenge at its finest. Is it real shit? Only the mad scientist that packs this stuff in the back room knows for sure and he wouldn’t tell us, but we do know this, it really smells bad back there, he is mixing up shit, and he does visit the local dairy farm and zoo about twice a week. (We also don’t want the delivery company to actually know what kind of shit they’re delivering.) We can assure you that it looks nasty and really stinks. It will get the point across to your intended victim.” ($15.95-44.95)
For the spoiled spoiler
Spoiler Alert Christmas card | Make someone’s day… bad.
“A jolly 50’s TV Santa entices recipients with the words “Spoiler Alert.” Inside reads “There’s no such thing as Santa Claus. Merry Christmas!” Perfect for that person who always spoils your shows by telling you whats going to happen. Finished with solid red envelopes. Made in the USA. ” ($2.99)
For the gadget addict
The NIGHT Cable | Oh the humanity! (I’m referring to the price.)
“The simple solution to everyday frustrations when charging at home. None of us enjoy fumbling around for dropped cables or straining to use our devices when they’re recharging. NIGHT Cable gives you a 3 metre range to comfortably charge anywhere. Its weighted knot can be anchored to any flat surface, so it’s there when you need it next.” ($39.99)
For that shithead in your life
Doody Head Game | Sure to be a (s)hit at your holiday party!
“The ultimate in silly games just got GROSS. Throw the doodies on to your opponent’s head to score points. (2 hats, 3 doodies and game instructions included).” Part of “the new Daron Novelty Items, a wide variety of fun quirky products that provide hours of fun and that will bring a smile to your face.” ($14.95)
For anyone who appreciates sitting down in style
Hans J. Wegner: Just One Good Chair | I mean—it seems silly to say it out loud, but who doesn’t love chairs?
“The name of Hans J. Wegner (1914-2007) is inseparable from his unrivalled chairs, which have helped Danish design achieve international recognition. Any fan of design has his or her favorite among Wegner’s approximately 500 creations, and there is hardly an interior design magazine that has not included an illustration of his elegant China Chair (1943) or Y Chair (1950). Even John F. Kennedy sat on the Round Chair, now known simply as The Chair (1949). Trained as a furniture maker, Wegner typically made his prototypes by hand, using traditional joinery techniques such as tongue-and-groove or finger joints. In the process, he often pushed the limitations of wood, giving his designs an unequaled elegance. Their beauty was matched by their practicality: he considered comfort and ergonomics to be equally as important as appearance. Despite his concern for functionality, his personality and sense of humor also shone through his works, as evidenced by his splendid Peacock Chair (1947) or the masculine Ox Chair (1960), available with or without horns.” ($50.56)
For those who like transparency
Glass pot | Well, the reviews aren’t that great but it sure does look cool.
“A transparent body of dense, borosilicate glass demystifies the culinary magic happening inside the pot, turning dinner prep into a spectacle worth savoring. When tempered, glass becomes flame-proof and is able to withstand high temperatures. Boiling water brings ingredients to life: as pasta transforms from raw to al dente, it begins to twirl and dance, and vegetables bob and brighten as they blanche. Each pot is handmade in Italy and only 10 are made each day, making your pot a truly one-of-a-kind design. Besides being elegant and durable, glass is also non-porous and will not impart the food prepared with the flavors of past meals. The silicone and stainless steel lid is sold separately. Dishwasher-safe. 8 quart capacity.” ($200)
And finally, for the people who are odd enough to appreciate this odd little digital web site — our very own analog book!
Milk Eggs Vodka: Grocery Lists Lost and Found | “This book is a compilation of abandoned grocery lists that have been discovered in grocery carts, market floors, and parking lots across the country. If we are what we eat, then this book reveals deep truths about the average American (not to mention more mundane truths like a surprising number of people enjoy onions, and, for most people, mayonnaise is very, very difficult to spell). Separated into chapters (funny lists, sad lists, unhealthy lists, organized lists) the book also includes commentary by the author and some very special recipes created from found grocery lists. Sidebars and food facts round out the menu.” ($10.49)
If you don’t want that one, try my other book
50 SAD CHAIRS | “This is an awesome work by Acrobat / Photographer Bill Keaggy, who witnesses tired and tossed chairs in downtown St. Louis. Each image is a mixed bag of forlorn and funny, a veritable commentary on our culture of consumption (at least as it relates to chairs). Have a look. And you’ll soon notice: Sad chairs are everywhere. This book is a real treat. Your coffee table is longing for it. It’s a simple, well put together book that will inspire the artist within. A must have, would make a great inexpensive holiday gift. I have one for myself and have purchased this book for friends.” ($6.40-37.50)
There you go. Prices are mostly accurate as of 26 Nov 2014. For more great gift ideas, check out our previous GLC gift guides.
And if this doesn’t interest you then just go check out the newest lists added to the collection.
Happy holidays, everyone!
The GLC Crew and keaggy.com