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Yeah, I turned this stupid site into a book.

Dear 2007 Internet,

The world’s first book of found grocery lists is now available. Compiled by St. Louis-based über-collector Bill Keaggy, Milk Eggs Vodka is published by HOW Books and is for sale at major booksellers in the area and on The book was released in May 2007 in a glorious full color hardcover edition, with 240 pages. It was republished in paperback in April 2011. HOW Books was the publisher.

If we are what we eat, then this book reveals deep and strange truths about the average shopper: A lot of people can’t spell banana, some folks write their lists on very questionable objects and Americans drink more vodka per capita than Russians.

Separated into chapters—funny lists, sad lists, unhealthy lists, highly-organized lists—the book also includes smart-aleck commentary by the author and some delicious recipes created from other people’s discarded grocery lists. You’ll also see 2,000-year-old grocery list, lists from all 50 U.S. states, the most commonly misspelled words on Americans’ shopping lists, a shoplifting list—not to mention a chance meeting with Chevy Chase in the bathroom at Yankee Stadium. Go figure.

The covers of both editions.

This book is a compilation of abandoned grocery lists that have been discovered in grocery carts, market floors, and parking lots across the country. If we are what we eat, then this book reveals deep truths about the average American (not to mention more mundane truths like a surprising number of people enjoy onions, and, for most people, banana and mayonnaise are very, very difficult words to spell). Separated into chapters (funny lists, sad lists, unhealthy lists, organized lists) the book also includes snarky commentary by the author and delicious recipes created from found grocery lists. Sidebars and food facts round out the menu.

You might want to purchase it

Holy cow! You can order it on Amazon! You might also be get a copy at the following online stores linked below, as well as at many local booksellers, thrift stores and garbage dumps. As featured in the The New York Times Magazine, The New York Times, USA Today, The Christian Science Monitor, National Post, Wall Street Journal, Chicago Tribune, Bon Appetit, Family Circle, Yahoo!’s Picks of the Year, Boing Boing, Fox Radio, CBC Radio, TechTV and more.

Sample spread from the book.

More than 300 amazing finds

The book features about 300 discarded grocery lists from all over the U.S., and a few from around the globe. Sorted into amusing chapters (lists with poor spelling, healthy vs. unhealthy lists, lists made by elderly people or people planning parties, lists with drawings, doodles and notes on them, etc.), each list is displayed, dissected and commented on. You’ll probably never leave your list in the grocery cart again.

But why collect found grocery lists? Because lists tell us a lot about our neighbors, our friends, our ancestors, our species and ourselves. Lists—especially lists of things we want and need, such as groceries—provide tiny glimpses into private lives. They’re usually quite honest reflections of a person. Simple needs, amusing quirks and sundry cures for infirmities listed and checked off.

Yes, grocery lists are supposed to be private, and that’s why it’s so enjoyable to look through the ones that people discard… unless one of those lists happens to be yours. Then it might not be so enjoyable, because if there’s one thing author I like more than finding a lost grocery list… it’s making fun of it.

Of course I will give some away free right here at every now and then.

Want to contribute some lists? Contact us!

Bill Keaggy

5 thoughts on “THE BOOK: MILK EGGS VODKA”

  1. Got your book as a gift this year, just finished it.
    LOL 100x.

    And as funny as the lists could be, your insight in interpreting the lives of the writers was even better.
    Thanks for the yuks.

    I will keep an eye out for lost lists and forward them to you. Good luck with future endeavors.

  2. Amy Van Mechelen

    So I’m watching Jimmy Kimmel and Bill Keaggy is on talking about his book Milk, Eggs, Vodka. I think to myself, how interesting and then what do I see A LIST I WROTE!!!! Haha, it was so hilarious and weird to see my writing and list up there. It’s the one that said “If you buy more rice I’ll punch you in the face.” That was me to my lovely mother actually, not from a wife to husband, but whatev. Is that in the book? Cause if so I definitely have to get it.

    Thanks for sharing all the lists, they’re really funny and great and I was wondering if you found mine or someone sent it in? Thanks again!

  3. LOL@Amy… When I watched that, I laughed. My hubbie is a rice purchaser….. I am the wife that doesn’t litter but I always leave my list in the basket! LOL…….. This guy is too funny. I feel as if I tomorrow I could become a comedian! ;-)
    Good job on your list being funny!

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